I moved to Lansing for a fresh start in the middle of last year. It provided me with what I needed at the time; friends, a gay community and a fresh start. Yet I can’t help but sit here and think it may be time to move on. It will be really hard to leave my friends and the gay community I have become so fond of however I have so many memories here with my ex and I just feel like I need to be in a larger city. I love the gay community here but it is small and with that comes a limited dating pool. Not that I am ready to date at all to be honest but I feel like I need to be a part of a larger community, gay and otherwise in a way to continue to find myself. I need to continue this self exploration but also want to be in a place where someone might find me as I do the same.
Part of my struggle with staying here is that shortly after I moved here I began dating my ex. Thus, most everything that I have become accustom to in starting my new life have roots to him. I know I can start new memories but honestly I just think that moving could help me cut him out. I suppose it’s running away and maybe I am but it wouldn’t be the only reason for moving. Like I said I have wanted to be in a larger community. I lived in Philadelphia and I miss it dearly.
So, 2018, will you be there year I move again? I may know soon as I will hear on my grad school applications and two of them as early as next week. Even if I don’t get into grad school I still may consider moving toward the end of the year. Possibly to Chicago or Detroit. I want to stay close to my daughter but I need to live in a city.