I Wasn’t Supposed To Be There; A Life Saved (Part 3)

She doesn’t wake up as I say her name. I begin to sake her a little and still no response. By now I am in a full on panic because my mom had attempted suicide before. She wont wake up. I turn to her bedside and see an empty pill bottle. I then turn and look at S with what I am sure was the most panic stricken face she had ever seen. The next thing I remember is I am yelling at S to “Do something!” and she responds with “What do you want me to do?” and all I remember saying is “I don’t care but do something.” I begin to call 911 and talking with the operator. This was the most stressful ordeal of it all because all the operator wanted to do was ask a million questions and all I wanted was for an ambulance to show up. She kept asking how did I know she had overdosed and what medication was she on and was she conscious. Can I see her breathing? Can I try to wake her up? A million questions and I just wanted to yell at her and tell her to shut the hell up and just get an ambulance here. By this point my mom had awaken slightly. In a very groggy voice she try’s to speak. I can’t even understand a words she is saying. She thinks she is talking but nothing makes any sense it was like listening to another language. I really begin to panic because there is no way that this can be good and I know its a sign of a stroke. Finally she is able to communicate that she needs to go to the bathroom. S and I debated for a moment if we should even move her. I am no medical professional I had no idea what was going on. All I knew is I was panicked. My mother could literally die any second and I would watch it happen.

S and I talk back and forth for a moment on what to do and me as a person who in a crisis realizes that you don’t have time to bicker just says let her go to the bathroom. She attempts to get up but is in such an impaired state she can not even sit up. We have to pull her up and help her to the bathroom. I have to put her arm over my shoulder on one side while S try’s to prop her up on the other. She is almost dead weight on us. Her legs are literally like cooked spaghetti barely holding any weight. We get her into the bathroom right in front of the toilet and the operator begins asking more questions. Obviously I become of little help because I am answering these million questions so S is left with most of the duties of watching over her. She makes it to the toilet and I remember looking over and she can not even pull her own pants down, S had to help her and before she even sat on the toilet she began to pee all over the place and it got all over S. She quickly pushed her down onto the toilet and I told S to just keep her there but we had to physically push her back and head up because all she did was slouch forward. It was in this moment that I realized how bad things where. She couldn’t even sit up or formulate any words. At some point in this whole mess I left to go see what pills she had taken. Of course I could never really figure out which pills they were as I found a couple bottles but they were all empty. Every single one of them. I had no idea how much she had taken and what she had taken. From this point until the hospital it is all a blur for me. I don’t really remember the paramedics being there because I was so focused on trying to fact find at that point. Looking for pill bottles and grabbing them to give to the doctor and grabbing some clothes or anything else that she might want. I remember thinking that once I leave this house I might no be able to get back in.

At some point through this whole fiasco we found out that my sister was on a ceder point trip with her classmates and due to be back to the school soon. I remember being so pissed in that moment. Had I not gone out there what would my sister do? What would she think when my mother didn’t show up to get her? How would she have gotten home? The next few hours are blurry for me but if I recall correctly I followed the ambulance to the hospital before going to get my sister. I barely remember being in the waiting room and the emergency room but vaguely remember them making my mom drink some black muck and then what I presume to be a social worker asking me if I wanted to admit her into the psychiatric unit. I knew that by doing this my mother would not be happy with me. Yet I felt like she needed help and I agreed. At this point I do not really remember how the succession of event went. Yet I remember that before they took her into the Psych unit I removed her wedding ring from her hand. My step father was a coward and a worthless human being. He left her, treated her, me and my siblings as though we were garbage and only used us for the social security money my mother received for my dad dying. I hate that man. The only man in this world that I can say I hate but he truly is a representation of the worst kind of human being you can be. Another time my mom tried committing suicide he did nothing until he was caught by my cousin and then only called poison control until the hospital called and asked where their overdose patient was. You see he didn’t realize that poison control alerts hospitals of the cases they received. He was going to let her die. He was playing video games in the garage while she was attempting suicide. He is a horrible human being…